Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dear Yesterday, enough already.

ever have one of those days that just leave you saying enough already? the day started out with me frustrated about stupid crap, the kind of stuff you complain about when you are fortunate enough to not have anything valid to complain about.

We've had Noah's delivery scheduled for the 27th for what seems like forever now. A few months at the very least. I was/am annoyed because it meant I had to choose between having the surgeon we wanted and planned on or having the day that we have planned around...a few people have said who cares if it's not that day but I don't think you fully grasp all the arrangements that have to be made when you know you'll be in the hospital for 4 days and you have work and a little boy to cover. We deliberately planned for Noah's arrival on the 27th to make it easiest for all the family who are stepping up like rockstars and watching Connor for the 4 days, so a change means they have to adjust the days they took off work and everything else. They are already doing us such a huge favor that it seems ungrateful to ask them to adjust just so we can keep the surgeon but they were great about it. Our surgeon was scheduled to do operations on the 25th (tuesday) or the 28th (friday). The 25th would be great because I'm worried about making it to the 27th as is, but that's a lot of weekdays for family to have to have Connor so we ruled it I'd have Monday to wrap stuff up in the office and that's just silly to be there for one day and then take off. The 28th is risky because it's just three days before my actual due date so it's somewhat unlikely I'll make it that far without going into Connor's last day of school is the 27th so that date just worked out so well. Ugh. Anyway, after much deliberation and a informal vote of friends and family, we scheduled for the 28th. I just hate when you plan something and then the plan changes. My dad laughed at me quite a bit over my intense deliberation and upset, but he should know that it's his uber type A personality that fostered my own. :) Love. Also, the delivery time was changed and we're set for a 7am surgery...arriving at the hospital at 5am. Yikes. That helps though because I can't eat or drink anything for 8 hours before the surgery so I'll spend my 8 hours sleeping! I finally calmed down about the disruption in schedule a couple hours later yesterday. sigh.

Yesterday my office threw a baby shower for myself and a coworker who are both pregnant with boys. It was very sweet and so wonderful of them to do. I'm not really a supporter of baby showers when people aren't on thier first child, but they wanted to throw it and it was incredibly nice of them. Nakeia, the other mommy-to-be is about 4-5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. Her water actually broke during the baby shower. wtf right? I had a water-breaking scare when I was preg with Connor so I rushed her off to ob triage so that they could check to see if it was actually her water breaking or if she just peed herself (um, yeah that's what happened to me). Sure enough it was her fluid and she's now officially not leaving the hospital until that baby is born. I guess they are pumping her and baby full of antibiotics and steroids until they can't put off delivery any longer and she's making herself at home at the hospital. I hope she can keep him in for at least another 3-4, then we can be hospital buddies since she's at Chandler as well. :) The emotion of seeing someone panic like that, especially since it is her first baby was a bit much for me yesterday.

Then yesterday afternoon we received horrible, tragic news. There was an accident yesterday morning on the 60 that I heard about from coworkers as they came in late due to backup. I thought nothing of it, since accidents happen all the time, I don't even travel that way, and they all made it in safely. Unfortunately, a good friend Molly's husband was killed in that accident. He was changing a flat tire on his truck on the side of the road when a car involved in a 5-car accident hit him. Totally unexpected, complete freak accident and just an incredibly sad situation. Molly and Kevin have three little boys, including a son from his first marriage. I just cannot imagine the grief that she's going through right now. I myself, got sick after hearing the news and just immediately felt like curling up and crying. So I did. If there is anything positive at all that can come out of a situation like this it's that you hold your loved ones just a bit tighter, read your kids an extra story at night and make sure that you have all your stuff in order for your own loved ones in case something horrible happens to you. I'm lost as to what to do for Molly. She's been a friend for nearly 15 years and I just don't think a casserole, a visit, or my attempt at sincere condolences are enough to help with what she's going through. All night I sat with Jeff and Connor wishing we could stay locked up in our safe little family bubble, even considered calling in today and forcing Jeffrey to do the same so we could just be a family at home without work getting in the way, but we didn't do that. We got up, got ourselves and Connor ready, got out the door and are trying to have some semblance of a normal day even though a close friend we've both known forever is hurting in an unimaginable way. It all seems very petty and unimportant today, but really, what else can you do?

Braeden 7, Rylan 1, Kevin and Molly Maples

Needing today to go quick. I need to get out of the office that I'm pretending to work in today and get to my son. I need to make him dinner and color in his new coloring book, give him a bath and just soak up our life-the important stuff. It sounds so trite, but you just never really know how much time you have with the people in your life and I don't want to miss anything or wish I'd given Jeff or Connor that kiss in the morning that I was too late to slow down for. So I'm going to stop pretending to work now and really focus on what I need to do, if for no other reason but that it makes the day go so much faster. 6 1/2 hours to go.


Katy said...

I didn't even know her.. just knew of her from you and I feel sick. That is my worst fear! I feel so horrible for her and totally get how that's so inadequate.

Karen said...

I read that story this morning online not even realizing it was your friend's husband. :( I feel so horrible for her and her family. I'm sure any kind of support, no matter how inadequate it might seem, she'll appreciate.

Oh, and that's crappy about having to reschedule. Don't you hate that? Grrr.

Lori said...

It breaks my heart for Molly - I can't even imagine. It's terrifying to know that people we knew in high school - such happy innocent times - have to go through such real and Earth shattering things that we once paid a little attention to and thought 'man that sucks'. Words are always nice, donations help, but remember just being there for her is what will have the greatest impact.

Krista said...

Oh, Lindsay. I am so sorry for your loss and for the family's loss. It is so difficult to watch a friend experience such a terrible tragedy!